Alfa Romeo Capitulates, Will Not Release MX-5 Twin

"For Sweden" (rallybeetle) 12/19/2014 at 11:49 • Filed to: Alfa Romeo, FCA, Fiat Chrysler, Fiat, Chrysler, Abarth, Fiat Abarth, Mazda Miata, Mazda MX-5, Mazda, Miata, MX-5, Roadsters, Roadster, Satire

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(Milan, Italy) After what we must presume to be a devastating computer attack against Fiat Chrysler Automobiles, Alfa Romeo has chosen not to release its hotly-anticipated roadster based on the Mazda MX-5.

In a statement Friday, CEO Sergio Marchionne told reporters that actions taken by east-Asian groups made the release of a Alfa Romeo coupe built on Mazda mechanicals an imprudent decision. "We acknowledge the extreme anticipation for this release," he said, "but we cannot in good conscious release a product that could serve as a target to devastating attacks on Alfa Romeo."

Reactions from the automotive community were swift, their persistence only matched by their condemnation. Tens of thousands went online to describe FCA's actions as "capitulating to tyrants and terrorists" and "a violation of basic civil rights."

"I have never heard of anything so outrageous and insulting to the basic principles of car culture," wrote one enthusiast on an online message board. "Alfa Romeo can't just dump tens and millions of their own money, not to mention years of their own time, into producing a vehicle I want, and then not release it. What used car am I supposed to buy off-lease now?"

The enthusiast above was not alone. Racers, journalists, and valet parkers also claimed to be personally insulted and damaged by the FCA, a company that only owes something to its shareholders and employees, decision. "It doesn't matter that I will only drive this car for a week in Italy on Alfa Romeo's dime. It doesn't matter that I contributed nothing to the roadster's production." wrote one journalist. "FCA had a choice between driving free or dying. They chose death, and the world may never be the same."

RazoE > For Sweden 12/19/2014 at 11:53

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So the Italians changed their mind half-way through? Unheard of.

Jedidiah > For Sweden 12/19/2014 at 11:58

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Who cares? It's not like it was a car they promised to engineer. It would've had the badge swapped and have the price inflated to catch sucker buyers like GM has done for so long.

For Sweden > Jedidiah 12/19/2014 at 11:59

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This isn't about swapping badges. This is about basic human rights.

Jedidiah > For Sweden 12/19/2014 at 12:12

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"Nobody wants a Chevrolet motor in their Pontiac! It's basic human rights!"

Alfalfa > For Sweden 12/19/2014 at 12:13

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Damn capitulators, letting the terrorists win.

crown victor victoria > For Sweden 12/19/2014 at 13:01

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Wow, if the hackers can successfully navigate and hack the network infrastructure version of this, then I am beyond impressed.